(no subject)

It's finally winter here. About damn time. I'm all alone at home, and it makes me happy. Piper was off from school today, so I planned to take her to work with me. Didn't happen. This morning, she started throwing up. [insert ICK here] So work was out. I called the doctor and got an appointment (for both of us, me for a follow up for personal issues very few know about; mostly a few in no_air) and found out she just has a virus. The doc wants me in for surgery next month. I don't want to. I've got vacation next month, and not gonna spend it in a hospital bed. But the surgery needs to be done.

Thing is, I hate hospitals. Call it a violent fear. Right up there with the fear of needles. In irrational, unexplainable fear.

So, while this set of thoughts is running little circles in my brain, he also procedes to tell me that he thinks I need to go back on my meds in light of everything that's been going on, and what WILL be going on. I've been off for two years. I've been fine, until recently.

All I can think of now, is that I failed somehow.

So, Piper's gone this weekend, and family is out of town, so there's no chance of seeing my mother (the root of HALF my stress, no doubt).

I had to see the bastard when I took her to his house, too. I tell Piper not to hate, and I find it terrible that I can't practice what I preach, because I HATE him. I hate the air he breathes and the ground he walks on.

So I sit at home alone, listening to the sleet patter on the windows. I plan on getting totally piss drunk (which I'm well on my way to, BTW ^___~ ), eat food that's really BAD for me, and watch movies. I'm starting back on my meds Monday, so this will be the last chance I have to drink anything to the point of excess.

I'd invite everyone over to join me (or take advantage of me, whicheverthey prefer XD ), but I think the distance would be a bit much.
[/rant]


Have a wonderful night, all! ♥